was walking from Histology class just now...with a friend from Malaysia...
we were talking along the way to back to hostel...talking bout watching drama...may be its because he is not closed to me...that's y he dun believe me that i m the kind that will watch drama till late night...and thus we start arguing bout that...and dunno how we started to argue bout being JPA student...i said that being JPA stud is veri stress...and being a private stud, of course his stand is he is more stress...and out of sudden....i shouted:"U WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND HOW STRESS AM I WHEN I CANT FLY TO AUSTRALIA...."
.....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
this was kept in my heart since long long time ago...i promised myself i wont talk bout this again but today...i shouted it out...
it is the scar in my life...
that make me feel shame once before my friend...
that make me feel 'low standard' before the relatives..
that make me cry every time i pray to God...
that make me questioned God...

back in hostel...
i get this poem from sharlyne's book...
the title is "STAY THERE UNTIL I TELL YOU"

I'll stay where you have put me;i will Lord,
Though i wanted so badly to go,
I was eager to march with the "rank and file"'
Yes, I wanted to lead them, You know,
I planned to keep step to the music loud,
To cheer when the banner unfurled,
To stand in the midst of the fight straight and proud,
But I;ll stay where You've put me.

I'll stay where you have put me;i will work, dear Lord,
Though the field be narrow and small,
And the ground be neglected, and the stones lie thick,
And the there seems to be no life at all,
The field is Your own, only give me the seed,
I;ll sow it with never a fear,
I'll till the dry soil while I wait for the rain,
And rejoice when the green blades appear,
I'll work where You've put me.

I'll stay where you have put me;i will work, dear Lord,
I'll bear the day's burden and heat,
Always trusting You fully, when sunset has come,
I'll lay stalks of grain at Your feet,
And then, when my earth work is ended and done,
In the light of eternity's glow,
Life;s record all closed, I surely will find,
Its was better to stay than to go'
I'll stay where You've put me.





every time when i pray...
i know that, God has a plan...but what's the plan?...i m still seeking for it...
i understand that..its this small small trial...
and this little little incident...that make me grow...

am i wrong?

many things happen today...
ermmm...cant say its good and yet its not bad...
but for now...i feel that its good lar...
i m trying to maintain my feeling now...feel much better than few days ago...
din passive dy....talk quite a lot dy...
anf i think if remina see this, she will be hapi...
dun wori sis...i m fine...

about the 2nd thg...
mmm,i m not sure i have did the wrong thg...but...
i think i did correctly...may be it will make some1 feel disturbed...
but...i think
i m correct lar....

What's wrong with me???

What's wrong with me....
i reli dunno...
recently feel that i m changing...
from an active Sim Mee to a very very very passive me....
i think i can feel that the person around me know that i m changing as well...
i jz like to keep quiet now...
and when others ask me:"what happen to u?"
"Tired"....the best reason is given...
huh...how can this happen?
mz find out the reason....

back from Goa

huu...jz back from Goa...having a great time there...
nice beach, delicious seafood,and cheap clothes...
reli relaxing..
back in Belgaum = back into Anatomy,Physiology, biochemistry, DADH,DM...
the time to start working hard...
gambateh neh...=)

有了？没了？

怎么一切一切都好像变了。。

动听的铃声，没有了。。
喜欢的声音，没有了。。
快乐的笑声，没有了。。
甜美的笑容，没有了。。
热闹的聚会，没有了。。
熟悉的背影，没有了。。
常在的支持，没有了。。
没有了。。

疏远的问候，有了。。
久违的眼泪，有了。。
陌生的面孔，有了。。
马虎的谈话，有了。。
敷衍的安慰，有了。。
僵硬的笑容，有了。。
冷冷的晚餐，有了
有了。。

当拥有了很多 “没有了”，也就失去了我所“有的”。。
拥有了很多的 “有了”， 也就失去了以前所没有的。。
有了。。没了。。
到底是有了？还是没了呢？

Is this life?

jz dun think and u will get fine...
jz dun see and u wont think...
jz dun care and u wont see...
jz dun ask and u wont care...

is this life? if this is not, then wat is life?

to all my friends

告訴我什麼事情讓你開心，
誰讓你煩心，
讓我來撫平，
有些話放在心裡心有靈犀，
不需要言語，
我就能感應，
能和知心朋友一起談心，
不在乎主題，
感覺永遠歷久彌新，
我明白全世界只有你，
最珍惜我的快樂傷心。

在朋友群中我是一個被動的人
我很少主動去找朋友或是跟朋友聯絡
幸好我還蠻幸運的有很多朋友都不嫌棄我
願意跟我交朋友願意跟我聯絡
甚至問我近來好嗎？

我真的很感謝
信箱中常常收到轉寄有關朋友的文章
雖然大部分信件是重複再重複
但對我來說意義是不會重複的
一封封的信代表著每一個朋友的關心

可能我們久沒聯絡
可能我們不常聯絡
可能我們常常聯絡
可能我們是知心的朋友
可能我們只是淡淡之交
可能我們只是點頭之交
不過你們寄了封關於朋友的信時
表示你們就認定我這個朋友

也許我生活中的喜怒哀樂
你們並不能常與我分享
你們並不能常在我左右
但只要我有困難；只要我呼救
不管多遠~~~你們還是會盡力地幫助我

我真的很感謝
我不是擅長說感謝的人
但你們對我的好我是知道的

其實我覺得你們都很客氣
都是付出而不要求回報
不過我還是希望當你們有困難時能告訴我
也許我能幫得上忙
也許我只能當個聽眾
不管如何有事一定要說出來

或者當你們想到我時
不要不好意思也不要害怕
一封僅隻字片語的e-mail
一通只是問好的電話
都是一種感動和溫馨

感謝你們把我當朋友
藉著這篇文章感謝及問候我的朋友們！