was walking from Histology class just now...with a friend from Malaysia...
we were talking along the way to back to hostel...talking bout watching drama...may be its because he is not closed to me...that's y he dun believe me that i m the kind that will watch drama till late night...and thus we start arguing bout that...and dunno how we started to argue bout being JPA student...i said that being JPA stud is veri stress...and being a private stud, of course his stand is he is more stress...and out of sudden....i shouted:"U WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND HOW STRESS AM I WHEN I CANT FLY TO AUSTRALIA...."
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this was kept in my heart since long long time ago...i promised myself i wont talk bout this again but today...i shouted it out...
it is the scar in my life...
that make me feel shame once before my friend...
that make me feel 'low standard' before the relatives..
that make me cry every time i pray to God...
that make me questioned God...

back in hostel...
i get this poem from sharlyne's book...
the title is "STAY THERE UNTIL I TELL YOU"

I'll stay where you have put me;i will Lord,
Though i wanted so badly to go,
I was eager to march with the "rank and file"'
Yes, I wanted to lead them, You know,
I planned to keep step to the music loud,
To cheer when the banner unfurled,
To stand in the midst of the fight straight and proud,
But I;ll stay where You've put me.

I'll stay where you have put me;i will work, dear Lord,
Though the field be narrow and small,
And the ground be neglected, and the stones lie thick,
And the there seems to be no life at all,
The field is Your own, only give me the seed,
I;ll sow it with never a fear,
I'll till the dry soil while I wait for the rain,
And rejoice when the green blades appear,
I'll work where You've put me.

I'll stay where you have put me;i will work, dear Lord,
I'll bear the day's burden and heat,
Always trusting You fully, when sunset has come,
I'll lay stalks of grain at Your feet,
And then, when my earth work is ended and done,
In the light of eternity's glow,
Life;s record all closed, I surely will find,
Its was better to stay than to go'
I'll stay where You've put me.





every time when i pray...
i know that, God has a plan...but what's the plan?...i m still seeking for it...
i understand that..its this small small trial...
and this little little incident...that make me grow...